Jacob
by Joreleroo
Summary: Edward and Jacob are on a retreat but things aren't what they seem to be. Warning: contains slash Edward/Jacob. If you don't like, don't read. AU AH OOC Explanation now added in the Author's Notes


Disclaimer: I do not in any way, profit from the story and that all creative rights, including but not limited to the characters, belong to their original creator(s)

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**Jacob**

Day 1

I was advised to go to this familiar place. I booked a room for Jacob and myself. The room is slightly dark, like the early hours of dawn. It is very minimalistic. There's just a bed, a lamp, a wardrobe, a bedside table, and _nothing else_. Not even a window. I kind of like it. The communal bathroom is just at the end of the main corridor of this floor.

I told Jacob to explore this place, which seems to be a really cheap hotel, while I unpacked our disorganised luggage. Most of them were my things. All Jacob pretty much brought were an old pair of jeans, a couple of shirts, and a worn-out pair of shoes. Talk about hygiene. He didn't bring a toothbrush or any other necessities? But that's what I love about him. He's so carefree, easy going and simplistic.

I still can't believe that he chose me over Bella. I can't believe that he's mine and I am his. I never thought that I would ever find love such as what we have. When I'm with him, it's like he's all I ever need in life. I don't care if we become poor, or I lose my job, or if the world ends. I know that as long as I'm with him, I am content in life.

There is a strange smell in this complex, the smell of medicine Esme used to give me every time I was sick when I was a kid. Talk about a cheap hotel. I don't think this even comes close to a half star rating! This smell is deterring me from continuing unpacking. It's making me nauseous. Now I just want to lie down on the bed and watch a bit of tv.

My favourite show, Derek, is on! It's about this guy who falls in love with a girl, only to find out she's a he and his real name is Derek! But the love he feels for her, or rather him, is so strong that he couldn't care less and decides Derek is the one for him. I laugh at the comedic one liners and the sometimes lame slapstick scenes. My diaphragm started to ache. I don't think I've laughed this hard in a while.

_I remembered a day when Jacob and I fought before we went to our 'first date' anniversary. That was just about a month ago. It was supposed to be as romantic as Paris but there was something I said that made him angry. I can't remember what it was, what we fought about. I'm pretty sure it was just a misunderstanding. But on that night, we fought like wolves fighting over leftovers from the night before's catch. We never fought since. As much as I hate to admit it, I think a part of Jacob is still a bit upset from what had happened. It feels like we have drifted apart a bit since then. I hope this trip will make things better. But I do know this. Despite what had happened, I know that Jacob still loves me, loves me no matter what and I feel the same for him. Only time can heal the memory of that night. We'll look back years from now and just laugh it off._

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Day 2

Here we are at the dining area downstairs. It's lunchtime and I am hungry. I'm surprised that it's a buffet. Well, it isn't a real buffet. There's only one dish for every course but you could take as much of the food as you want.

"Edward, let's sit over there by the garden."

The garden is so tranquil and beautiful. Roses, lilies and irises filled the swaying paved pathways leading to this outside dining area where we are sitting.

Jacob didn't take any food from the buffet.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling alright?" I asked

"Yeah, I think I'm just tired from our travel to get here. I have a small headache so I don't feel like eating right now. "

"Are you sure? Do you need a pain killer or something? Not that I have one right now, but since this place smells like medicine, they must have some," I joked.

"I'm amazed that you can always make me laugh when I need it the most"

"Well if I couldn't, then I'd be failing my job as your boyfriend wouldn't I?" I grinned, "That's like an insult to me! Come here and give me a hug!"

This hug, Jacob's hug, was so warm against my skin. It felt so loving and passionate. His smell is so alluring, so captivating.

The couple passing up looked at us while we hugged each other. They stared at us as if we looked abnormal. The expression on their faces reminded me of the time when my classmates made fun of me for having an imaginary friend, those boys and girls made me feel weird, like an outcast. And now, this couple is making me feel the same thing. Have they never seen a homosexual couple before? Have they never seen two men hugging passionately? I don't care what they think. Jacob's strong arms around me feel so good, that I just couldn't care less.

With lunch over, I'm feeling like I need to get up and running. Need to use up the energy I just got from lunch. There seems to be a basketball game happening near the swimming pool.

"Jacob, wanna play basketball?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure but don't go all competitive with me! We're supposed to be relaxing here."

"Of course not! Cause we'll be on the same team baby!" I snickered.

"Hey guys! I'm Edward. May my boyfriend, Jacob and I, have a game with you guys?" I enquired.

"Yeah," one of the guys said, "but it seems like your boyfriend doesn't want to play"

I look beside me only to find out Jacob wasn't there.

"Well, he wasn't feeling that well at lunch today, he might've gone back to our room. I'll catch you guys next time for a game. I'll check up on him."

I open the door to our room and as soon as I got inside, the first thing I notice is that Jacob isn't here.

He must be taking a walk. The fresh air always makes him feel better.

I lie on the bed and remember that night, our anniversary again.

_I was driving our car while we were still fighting. I remember how much I wanted the night to end._

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Day 3

There seems to be a couple leaving here today. As Jacob and I get closer to the dining area, I can see that besides the luggage they have, the man is badly hurt. Seeing this man, I can feel this pain inside me. Is this because of a sense of sympathy for the poor wife helping her husband with all his movement maybe? I can't exactly pinpoint it, but there's something about this couple that I can fully relate to, that I can fully understand. I don't feel well now.

"Jacob, I don't feel well. I'll head back to our room and lie down. Enjoy your breakfast."

Lying on the bed isn't making me feel better. It's making me feel worse as I recall that night of fighting.

_While we fought, I kept taking my eyes of the road, to look at Jacob. I definitely couldn't keep on the lane with all these emotions going over me while driving. It was hard to think. I finally ended up swerving on a tight curve crashing onto a tree. Luckily, I had enough strength to call the ambulance and we were rescued. Jacob's injuries were more severe than mine. I remember reconciling as we waited for help to arrive. We just crashed badly. We weren't going to keep fighting. I would have hated myself if Jacob or I had died and the last thing we did together was fight. But that's all in the past now. Jacob and I recovered from the incident without so much a scratch after leaving the hospital. _

Why am I remembering this now? Is this a sign that I should make sure Jacob has gotten over the incident? Does he blame me for what had happened? No, that can't be. Jacob would never hold a grudge and just keep it inside.

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Day 4

Jacob hasn't shown up since I woke up. Was he out all night? Is he avoiding me? Today is just not my day. It's gloomy and it's dark. I feel like going back to bed. I am all alone right now. I haven't seen Jacob since yesterday. I feel so alone. This makes me think of how much I need Jacob. How he is a part of me. Not being with him right now is giving me a heavy heart.

Someone is crying next door. This crying, it fills me with grief. It's filling me up with depressing emotions and I don't know why. Why is it affecting me so much? I've never even met the people next door, it's not like anyone died?

"_The ambulance is on its way! Jacob! Jacob? Oh my god, Jacob!"_

_Jacob was unconscious. He wasn't breathing. We were trapped in the car. I tried to feel for his pulse, but there was none. _

"_No, there's no way!" I thought to myself, "I don't know how to feel for a pulse! That's it! That's why I can't feel a pulse! Jacob! Wake up!"_

_I reached over and hugged him as hard as I could as I cried. There was no mistaking it. As much as I didn't want to believe, Jacob was dead, in my arms. His blood was on me._

I now realise everything. I still haven't let go of him. I cannot let go. Jacob is a part of me that makes me a whole. He is my one and only. I can't bear to live the rest of my life without him.

But I have to face it. Jacob is gone. I am here to get over that night. To get over that Jacob died while we were fighting. To get over that that Jacob is no longer here with me. Will Jacob ever be able forgive me now that he's passed on?

No, I'm sure he has. Even if I committed the most heinous crime, he would still forgive me. That's just who Jacob is.

No, this is not how Jacob would want me to live my life, this fantasy-illusion I've been living. I have to hold my head up high, and walk away from all this. Go back to my family in Forks. Wait, this is Forks. How could I have been so blind? This hospital is in Forks. I have been in such a delusional state that I couldn't even see that this is Forks!

This is it, I have to move on from what had happened.

But I will never move on from Jacob.

I will see you when my time here comes to an end.

You're my only one, Jacob.

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-End-

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**Author's notes:** What did you guys think of it? It's my first fan fiction so please be kind! Constructive criticism is welcome!


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